THE STORY BEHIND THE CHALLENGE

“For most of my life, I’ve struggled with anxiety and OCD related to germs, illness, mortality, and contamination, compartmentalizing it behind a big smile and perfectionist veneer.”

But all of that changed in 2020.

I became completely agoraphobic, unable to leave my apartment for several months. I was spending days “sanitizing” everything around me, including only eating food that I have boiled. I hit rock bottom when I knocked over a pot of boiling water and sustained a second-degree burn on my entire upper leg.

Through Maya’s encouragement, and the help of an excellent therapist, I began to challenge my OCD head-on.

A hallmark of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is to accept uncertainty and confront compulsions and phobias with courage. As I worked up my pyramid of “exposure therapy” — which included driving on a highway for the first time at age 30 — I found great solace in exercise, especially long, meditative runs, swims, and bike rides.

I never considered myself athletic.

As a gangly gay kid, I was either cut or bullied off of every sports team growing up. Prior to 2020, I’d never run more than 3 miles. As I got involved with the triathlon community in LA – starting with sprint races and gradually growing in distance and challenge – I knew I had discovered a passion that carried far more meaning than just crossing a finish line.

MAYA’S MENTAL AND PHYSICAL STRENGTH
was my light in the dark

Maya and I set a shared goal of completing a triathlon together as a lighthouse for her more than 50 rounds of chemotherapy treatments–and as the ultimate “exposure” in my recovery from OCD.

A PROMISE TO MAYA:

At the end of 2021, when Maya made the excruciatingly painful decision to transition to hospice care, I promised her that I was going to complete a full-distance IRONMAN triathlon. For both of us. Training for IRONMAN Arizona helped me process grief and feel connected to Maya through our shared goal.

I have now “graduated” from CBT.

While racing in a triathlon in Madrid this summer – sprinting in a lake with “EL LAGO NO ES SANITARIO” signs posted around the perimeter – I took in a big gulp of what smelled like sewage water, complete with the kind of algae on top that attracts flies. I could have stopped the race right there; I had already won. Just two years prior, I couldn’t eat a blueberry without boiling it first. Now I had just inadvertently taken a shot of sewage. While racing in a triathlon that left me covered in sweat, grime, dirt…and a big smile.

“I WANT TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO RECONSIDER THEIR OWN SELF-LIMITING PERCEPTIONS AND STRIVE FOR MORE. THIS IS ABOUT CELEBRATING LIFE, VITALITY, AND WHAT THE HUMAN BODY IS CAPABLE OF ACHIEVING, A LESSON MAYA TAUGHT ME THAT WILL ALWAYS LIVE IN MY HEART.”